3 Ways To Practice Loving Unconditionally
By Donna Krech
Most people put conditions on their love. So, the love that’s unconditional should be SO VERY celebrated.
I say, talk about all of it….and, become fully alive!!
I realized something in the last few days that I have been coming to realize over the last several months and even the last several years.
Unconditional love is a very rare thing. And saying it more appropriately.… most people have conditional love.
People will base their love for us on whether or not they think we show up enough for them. Some won’t do this. Some will love, unconditionally.
People will base their love for us on whether or not they think we reach out to them enough. Some won’t do this. Some will love, unconditionally.
Most people have conditional love. I really had no idea this was a thing…conditional love…but, it is a thing.
If you play by someone else’s rules (their conditions) you get love. If you don’t do that…well, you don’t get the unconditional ‘I’ll be there for you no matter what’ love.
Why?
Because their perception is that you weren’t there enough when they thought you should be (that’s their condition). And you probably weren’t.
I’m not sharing this with you to create guilt or to create confidence. I’m sharing this with you simply to help you realize. And maybe, just maybe, to open up a healthy line of communication between you and someone you love.
This is a real thing.
People will base their love for us, all on if we pick up their calls often enough, show up for functions as much as they think we should or simply just do what they want us to do.
This doesn’t mean they’re wrong, by the way. It’s just their way. It’s their condition.
They don’t know to reach out to you with questions. They don’t know to continue to check and see if you’re OK. Or, if they do know these things, they don’t know how to bring it up.
They just have the way in which they know how to live. And they believe it’s the right way.
Your way just doesn’t match their way and they don’t know what to do with that information.
Over my lifetime, people have told me they would be there no matter what. But, when I was going through an exceptionally dark time or when I was with family or traveling or working, and unable to be where they thought I should be… the love became conditional.
Incidentally, I’m sure I’ve done this to others, as well.
You have too.
Lots of deep realizations here. Right
My hope and prayer is that you would create 3 action steps after reading this.
One, I would hope you would reach out to someone, if you feel like you have put conditions on your love for them and didn’t mean to.
Two, I hope you would reach out to someone, if you are feeling like their love is conditional, but you know they really do love you. Communicate and clear things up.
Lastly, and most importantly, I would hope you would contact the person who shows you unconditional love and tell them how much it means to you. That conversation will fill both of your hearts to overflowing and bring every single cell of your body, to life!!
Actually, any of these 3 conversations can do that.
May I simply encourage you to have them?
If you’ve placed conditions on your love for someone, but weren’t aware you did it, talk about it….and, become fully alive!
If you believe someone placed conditions on their love for you, they’re most likely not aware, either. Talk about it…and, become fully alive!
If someone provides you with unconditional love, they may be aware of it, but most likely they aren’t aware, either. And they’re doing something WONDERFUL! Point it out!! Talk about it….and, become fully alive!
The goal of me sharing this message isn’t to hurt, but to heal.
Talk about it my friend. Talk about it….and, become fully alive!!!!
